Newlyweds asking for down payment help over wedding gifts

Nearly half of newly married homeowners in the U.S. who made a down payment asked for money instead of traditional wedding gifts, according to a recent survey.

A LendingTree survey of 1,050 American newlyweds found that 48% of those who purchased a home and made a down payment within the past two years requested cash from guests to help fund their home purchase rather than receive items off a wedding registry.

Additionally, 71% received financial support from parents to pay for their wedding, their down payment or both.

Weddings postpone homeownership

For many couples, the cost of a wedding comes at the expense of a larger down payment or delays the homebuying process altogether.

Thirty-five percent of respondents said their wedding delayed their home purchase, while 36% said they ended up putting less money down on a home due to wedding expenses. Another 41% of those who made a down payment said they wish they had contributed more.

“Weddings are incredibly expensive today. For most Americans, that means choosing between a big wedding or a decent mortgage down payment,” said Matt Schulz, LendingTree’s chief consumer finance analyst.

More than half of respondents (52%) said they chose a smaller wedding in order to afford a bigger home. That share was even higher among Gen Z newlyweds (56%) and couples with children (56%). Among those who made a down payment, 59% spent more on their home than their wedding.

The average down payment reported by newlywed homeowners was $46,741. For context, the median down payment for first-time buyers was 9% of the purchase price in 2024, according to the National Association of Realtors.

“Given that the median home price is over $400,000, most buyers are far from putting down 20%,” Schulz said. “No one should expect that to change any time soon.”

Homebuying vs. wedding planning

While both milestones are major financial and emotional undertakings, more newlyweds found the homebuying process to be the greater source of stress.

Thirty-six percent said buying a home was more stressful than planning a wedding, while 33% said the opposite. The remaining 31% found both equally challenging. When it came to conflict, 36% of respondents said wedding planning caused more arguments with their partner, compared to 33% who pointed to homebuying.

“Controlling what you can control is one of the best ways to reduce homebuying stress,” Schulz said.

He recommends comparing mortgage rates, clearly communicating with a partner and setting realistic financial expectations early on.

As couples increasingly prioritize long-term financial goals, Schulz said it’s important to align decisions with values.

“You have the greatest possibility of happiness when your decisions align with your values, goals, and priorities,” he said. “Talk to your partner early. Once you’ve paid out all that money for a wedding, you can’t get it back.”