Bogan to boujee: ‘Hobbit House’ a work of architectural magic

From bogan to boujee - the Qld suburbs undergoing a residential glow up

Dan McKerrow and Hayden Kidd at their Redcliffe home – Picture: Richard Walker

Locals call it The Hobbit House thanks to its award-winning circular entry, and this architecturally-designed masterpiece at Redcliffe certainly turns heads.

It is home to Hayden Kidd, a pilot, and Dan McKerrow, a veterinarian, and was designed by internationally acclaimed architect Nicholas Elias of Architectus, with its statement circular door the work of Frits Jurgens.

“When we first moved here we didn’t really tell too many people where we lived because it used to be considered a bit bogan,” Kidd said.

“People judged a bit more back then but now the sentiment is that they wish they bought here before it became so expensive.”

From bogan to boujee - the Qld suburbs undergoing a residential glow up

Dan McKerrow and Hayden Kidd at their Redcliffe home – Picture: Richard Walker

The couple have lived on the Redcliffe Peninsula for over a decade, starting out in more affordable homes that they renovated.

Kidd said that with each sale, they moved close to the water.

“Eventually we were able to afford a new build,” he said.

“We engaged a family friend (Elias) who didn’t usually do residential work but I think he enjoyed the project as it pushed boundaries.”

The post war home that was located on the block before the rebuild.

And it is a far cry from the tired post-war cottage that it replaced, with the couple sharing their favourite features of the house.

12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe, now

For Kidd, it is the lighting at night.

“The lighting creates a whole different feel,” he said. “A few people have described it like a hug.

“It is a different world at night. It is more of a feeling.”

Meanwhile, McKerrow’s favourite feature is the 580sq m of blind-fixed Queensland walnut that envelopes the interiors.

“It is a single tree and you can see the grain changes as you move through the house,” he said.

“It feels like you are inside something living.”

12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe

Located at 12 Greenup St in Redcliffe, Lantern includes cutting edge design and technology, including a solar system, EV charging circuit, dual-zoned ducted airconditioing, integrated smart lighting, irrigation, blinds and pool controls.

“From the floating upper level and sculptural steel staircase to the seamless interplay of light, timber, and stone, this is a home of artistic resolve and enduring elegance,” the listing by Place New Farm agent Heath Williams says.

12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe

Inside boasts that walnut cladding, cork floors, sculpted Verde Alpi marble benches, and etched glass pivot doors.

12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe

The kitchen features a sculpted booth, integrated garden planters, high-end appliances, and a concealed scullery.

Flowing from this central hub, a sunken alfresco lounge and 1.9m deep natural-plunge pool extend the living zones outdoors, offering year-round lifestyle amenity.

12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe

Every bathroom has handcrafted Japanese tiles, solid steel pedestal vanities, and rainfall showers, while the dual master suites offer flexibility for multi-generational living, enhanced by gallery nooks and custom wardrobe systems.

Outside, the surrounding gardens require no mowing, and were inspired by Burle Marx.

“We had a lot of fun with this build,” Kidd said,

“We met some great tradies and tried to use local builderes and frabricators so we now have this wonderful network of people that we enjoy dealing with so we decided we were in a position to do more.”

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12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe

As for Redcliffe itself, McKerrow said the area had undergone significant gentrification.

And while they are ready to let someone new enjoy Lantern, the couple are staying in the area.

“Obviously, Newport is also exhausted, no more land,” McKerrow said.

“So the next thing that is increasing is knock down rebuilds on the peninsula.”

12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe

Kidd added: “It’s definitely not bogan anymore”.

“It is very much a case of people wishing they had bought earlier,” he said.

“We call it the northern beaches of Brisbane.”

12 Greenup Street, Redcliffe

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‘Ridiculous offers’ made for units in one hot market

Unlike many homehunters her age, Minette Fulo never had the Aussie dream of a backyard and white picket fence.

When she moved to Australia from Canada three years ago for the lifestyle and the weather, she was happy to settle for a unit, but she wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be to get into the property market.

After months of making offers and constantly being outbid, the 27-year-old nurse took a break from the grind of property hunting, but is now back in the game and has her sights set firmly on a Brisbane unit.

CASE STUDY FOR SATURDAY PROPERTY SPREAD

Minette Fulo and her partner Brandon French are looking to buy a unit so they can enter the home ownership market. Picture: David Clark.

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“I was actively looking six months ago, but I just got overwhelmed and over it,” Ms Fulo said.

“I was hoping for a slight pullback (in home prices), but they haven’t really. Interest rates are still too high. I was expecting them to be lower.”

With Brisbane’s median house price now just $2000 away from $1 million, Ms Fulo is one of many first homebuyers trading a house for the inner-city lifestyle and (relative) affordability offered by a unit, with the median price sitting at $690,000.

Brisbane’s unit prices have surged in the past 12 months.

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“I think I already knew when I started looking that houses were so far out of reach,” she said.

“Besides, I’ve always lived in the city — all the jobs are there — and I like my flexibility, so I’m happy with a unit.

“I’m buying a property mostly as an investment, so I’m going in with an investor mindset. I’ve always been told to buy house because of the land, and that units don’t appreciate much, but it’s better than no investment at all.”

With a budget in the low $600,000s, Ms Fulo has engaged buyer’s agent, Mrs Vanessa Dallas, to help find her a two-bedroom unit within 15km of Brisbane’s CBD.

Buyer’s agent, Vanessa Dallas. Image supplied.

“I’ve saved more than a five per cent deposit, but I’m really only willing to put in 5 per cent,” she said.

“I just want some flexibility and to have some liquidity, so I’m trying to get into the market with the minimum amount of cash.

“If the property is really good, then I’d be willing to pay more than five per cent just to secure the property.”

Mrs Dallas said she had noticed some “ridiculous offers” being made on units since interest rates started dropping.

CASE STUDY FOR SATURDAY PROPERTY SPREAD

Minette Full and her partner Brandon French are looking to buy a unit in Brisbane. Picture: David Clark.

“I think people are getting sick of looking and that’s when those ridiculous offers come in,” Mrs Dallas said. “Unit pries are definitely rising. There’s a clear link between interest rate drops and what’s happening now.”

She said there were a few recent examples of people offering $100,000 more than the asking price for a unit she had gone to bid on for a client.

“I think people should really do their due diligence,” she said. “Look at the comparables in the area and not just put down offers for the sake of it. Education can help avoid these crazy price rises.”

Mrs Dallas said a house was still the preferred property type of choice for her clients, who were mostly first homebuyers and investors with five to 10 per cent deposits.

But, with a budget of $600,000 in inner Brisbane, they just weren’t feasible anymore.

“The mindset is that land is value, and that is true, but I also like to tell people that proximity can also sometimes add value a lot quicker,” she said.

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Luxe design makes West Lakes home stand out

It has given their family almost a decade of happy memories, and now vendors Ben and Elsa say it’s time for another family to enjoy the stunning West Lakes home they have created.

The couple built their dream home at 28 Troubridge Drive through revered builders Scott Salisbury, including everything they wanted to live a life of luxury in a floorplan that easily facilitated family living.

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28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

“We’ve lived in the western suburbs for the past 24 years, so that was somewhere we wanted to be,” Ben says.

“Land was scarce, but when we found this place we thought it was a good blank canvas to build something we really liked on.

“Troubridge Dr is particularly beautiful and a really lovely street to live on, and Scott Salisbury really brought our vision to life.

“We wanted something that ticked all our boxes and had the things that we like and enjoy.

“In our previous home the spare bedrooms were just a little bit small, so we wanted something with a bit more room.

“We gave them a brief of what we needed in our home and they came up with a design that we tweaked and my wife put in a few touches here and there which personalised it a bit more to our taste.

“And we’re incredibly happy with it.”

Ben says it was designed with family living – and the future – in mind.

“We designed it with the master bedroom and the living quarters downstairs, so the kids have their own area upstairs, well away from the adults downstairs, and they can do what they want up there and you can live virtually independently of each other if you want to,” he says.

“Plus we future-proofed the house for us so that as we got older we wouldn’t have to navigate stairs as everything we need is available to us on the lower level.”

28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

28 Troubridge Dr, West Lakes.

The home offers 509sqm of indoor and outdoor living space over its two levels and has four bedrooms – the master with a dressing room and luxe ensuite – a spacious open-plan kitchen, family and dining room, an upstairs retreat opening to a large balcony with expansive views; an alfresco area with outdoor kitchen; a home gym/workshop, a home theatre, a triple garage and a sparkling pool.

“It has been a wonderful home and we’ve really loved living here,” Ben says.

Now looking to downsize and travel more, Ben says it will be hard to say goodbye to their West Lakes masterpiece.

“We are exceptionally proud of it,” he says.

“We’ve come from really humble beginnings and now we’ve created this beautiful home that we have really loved and has served us so well.

“We’ll miss it.”

The home is being sold via an expressions of interest campaign, which closes at noon on June 25.

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See the hidden shortcuts to winning the apartment race

At 25 years old, pharmacist Amelia Wootten managed to secure an apartment of her own – but with an increasingly competitive market and rising prices, it took a little help to get one she could afford.

Having moved back to Brisbane in 2024 after several years in Rockhampton, Ms Wootten said she was eager to find a home without the constant presence of housemates or family.

But when she started to look for apartments, she found she was competing with too many people to find an affordable home in an area close to her job.

Saturday Real Estate Case Study - Units v Houses

Amelia Wootten knew units in Brisbane were her only affordable option – but the homes within her budget were so competitive that she didn’t know what she’d do. Picture: Steve Pohlner

“There was a super original place in Nundah, and that had, I reckon, 40 or 50 people going through it,” she said. “It felt very disheartening, I think, for a young buyer to be looking at how many people were going through and going, ‘I’m just not going to get anything’.”

Ms Wootten’s search came as apartment price growth across Brisbane was found to vastly outpace that of houses, according to research from Nuestar and Hotspotting.

The research found 76.3 per cent of apartments across the city were showing stronger growth than houses over the 12 months preceding June.

Units are rising in both popularity and price around the state, with this Brookwater unit on sale for $1.1 million.

“I think that with the rate going down and everything, it got a little bit more competitive,” Ms Wootten said. “I think there’s a lot more people looking for apartments rather than houses.”

“A lot of the [Rockhampton] houses were priced at what apartments would be here … what you’re getting for 500k is a lot more, but obviously it’s living in a regional area.”

Place New Farm agent Karen McBryde, who was able to find Ms Wootten a Stafford apartment off the plan, said she could see the gap between house and unit prices in the suburb “already closing”.

“Amelia paid $500,000 for a one-bedroom unit,” she said. “An entry level, very basic post-war house in the area is a minimum of about $900,000. So even just that comparison alone, it appears to me like a one-bedroom unit is fairly unaffordable still.”

Saturday Real Estate Case Study - Units v Houses

Ms Wootten saw house prices at a more reasonable rate when she lived up in Rockhampton. Meanwhile, in Brisbane, it was a private opportunity that managed to get her a one-bedroom unit. Picture: Steve Pohlner

“My biggest piece of advice would be to communicate with the agents that you’re dealing with, so that you can find what options are available,” she said. “When you make an inquiry, do include your phone and your email address in your inquiry. Make sure you’re providing the agent the information to send you back any listings that they have.”

Ms Wootten said communicating with agents and family, and getting the chance for private opportunities, was what finally allowed her to get the unit she dreamt of having.

“It’s helpful having people around you that have done it, or that know what they’re doing,” she said.

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Northcote: Reno transforms cottage into masterpiece

The four-bedroom house in Northcote has hit the market.

It was love at first sight for Amy and Mat, who purchased 34 Andrew St in 2015, after seeing the property only once.

“At the auction, no one was bidding and it was about to be passed in, so we put in a bid and luckily got to buy it,” she says.

Initially attracted to the street, which Amy describes as “one of the best in Northcote,” the challenge to renovate an old double-fronted house in the area was also a motivation.

“The original house was a very basic workers’ cottage,” she says.

“It was a case of worse house, best street, but we could see the potential.”

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The four-bedroom house at 34 Andrew St, Northcote, is scheduled to be auctioned.

It’s described as “one of the best in Northcote”.

The couple started working on the plans for Andrew St with architect James Lane and Tom Eckersley in 2018, but due to other commitments and life events, didn’t start the knockdown of the original home and the rebuild until several years later.

“The inspiration for Andrew St originally came from our architect, who made a compelling point that we are not living in the past, so why not create something that reflects how we live today, rather than replicating a bygone era we never actually experienced,” Amy says.

“That comment really resonated with us, and the twisting shape of Andrew was created.”

The exterior of the home demands attention with its trendsetting facade, while the interior blends bespoke design and luxury appointments, including exposed brickwork, polished concrete floors, and solid stone surfaces.

The dining area.

The kitchen.

Functionality and space are key to the double-story home’s layout, an element Amy says is one of her favourites.

“Functionality was most important; we wanted the house to grow with our family of four,” she says.

This feature continues outside, with a landscaped backyard that wraps around to an entertaining area with an in-built barbecue, wood-fired pizza oven and a sparkling lap pool.

“We wanted grass from them to play on, and we are big entertainers, so the whole house needed to know how to entertain,” she says.

“The unit above the garage suited our lives with both our parents living in country Victoria, and they just love the space and sleep-ins they can still have when staying with us with small children.”

The bathroom.

One of the bedrooms.

While contemporary, the home also features elements of its original form, Amy says, with timber beams and classic Northcote red bricks salvaged from the demolition and used in the home.

“Our incredibly talented next-door neighbour crafted the timber into our current front door and also built the bench seat out front. The salvaged Northcote reds found a new life in the outdoor entertaining areas,” she says.

“A little bit of the past is still present in the future.”

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Developer Dean Montgomery’s mission to revive St Albans Stud

One of Geelong finest historic homes, St Albans Homestead, found the ultimate custodian when Geelong businessman Dean Montgomery bought the property 15 years ago.

The heritage building enthusiast had long admired the remarkable 1873 estate and former stud best known for producing a direct lineage to 10 Melbourne Cup winners.

Mr Montgomery was not only determined to restore the grand 30-room mansion to its former glory but also to reclaim some surrounding land to create the sprawling country garden he felt the property deserved.

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The owners of St Albans Homestead added a tennis court that gets used most days.

The historic home wraps around a central courtyard.

“When we bought it, it was on six acres and there was a two-and-a-half acre block next door which had been cut off by the previous owner which we then bought back off a developer who was going to turn it into these two-storey townhouses,” he says. “We then turned that into a botanic type garden around it.

“It’s a real shame to see beautiful old places like that keep getting smaller and smaller so we wanted to do the reverse of that.”

He remodelled the grounds of 6-30 Homestead Drive, St Albans Park, added a tennis court and set to work painting and repairing mortar and chimneys to turn the polychromatic brick homestead, designed by Melbourne architect James T Conlan for noted horse breeder James Wilson, into a comfortable family home.

Ornate original details have been meticulous maintained throughout the six-bedroom main residence, where an impressive 19th Century skylight towers over an elegant reception area and adjoining circular sitting room.

The remarkable ceiling is full of period embellishment.

Mr Montgomery describes the leadlight as the artisan’s greatest work.

The renovated kitchen and dining area was previously divided into two separate rooms.

More than 10 open fireplaces are still in working order, while the leadlight is so impressive that an international specialist in the art recently toured the house.

A series of separate formal dining and living rooms, featuring high decorative ceilings and bay windows, are complemented by a more relaxed family room and a renovated kitchen and meals area where an old stove sits comfortably alongside modern appliances.

There’s multiple access points to a large paved central courtyard that links to timber-lined space perfect for a party or billiards.

“As much as I love antiques, it was very important to my wife as well that it wasn’t a museum and that it did have modern areas,” Mr Montgomery says. “It’s a big house but it doesn’t feel like a mansion that you get lost in. Our children were never far away from us so it’s a great family home.”

The ornate main bedroom is one of the vendor’s favourite spaces.

The property’s six bathrooms have been sympathetically updated.

Lighting the open fireplace is always a pleasure in the main bedroom, which has access to a spacious bathroom with a claw foot bath and antique style vanity and a huge dressing room.

There’s also an ensuite guest bedroom and a dedicated home office.

Another self-contained, one-bedroom guesthouse or caretaker’s residence is privately positioned behind a stable complex comprising 30 stalls that’s perfect for equine enthusiasts.

Whitford, Newtown agents John Moran and Peter Fort are handling the sale of 6-30 Homestead Drive, St Albans Park.

Price hopes are $7m to $7.5m.

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Geelong trophy home Raith on track to break record at circa $9m

2A Raith Terrace, Newtown, has been listed for sale in June, 2025.

A potential buyer setting up an off-market inspection of Newtown’s Raith scoffed when McGrath, Geelong director David Cortous boasted it was the city’s best home.

After visiting the home overlooking the Fyansford Deviation, he later told him ‘you were right’, Mr Cortous said.

The five-bedroom trophy home at 2A Raith Terrace originally built in 1864 and more recently sympathetically renovated and extended by renowned builder David McDonald has been listed for sale with price hopes between $8.5m and $9.3m.

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2A Raith Terrace, Newtown, has been listed for sale in June, 2025.

The kitchen is one of the rooms that has been updated.

At that price guide, the 6434sq m property stands to break its own record $6.3m as Geelong’s most expensive home.

Heritage documents show the home was erected in stages from 1864 and 1881 when the iron veranda encircled the original polychromatic brick building.

While the major works were completed for solicitor J H Grey, the nine times mayor of Newtown and Chilwell, it’s most famous resident was Geelong Cats legend Bob Davis.

Geelong businessman Simon Middleton was the last owner to sell.

Mr Cortous said the property returns to the market after the present owners put their own spin to the home.

A dining room.

The main living area overlooks the back yard.

The historic home was built in the 1800s and more recently sympathetically renovated and extended.

“They’ve just put their own touches on the property. They changed the kitchen around a bit, they’ve changed the office. It was a living room, it’s now an office.”

The property is “just perfect” from the gardens to the interiors, Mr Cortous said.

“There is not one single dollar to be spent on that property, just walk in and place your furniture because every single thing has been done, from external to internal, gardens to bathrooms to kitchen and even the three-bedroom cottage is fully renovated and is finished in marble as well.

“It’s got the beautiful views out the back and you’re not affected by the Deviation because you’re too elevated. It’s just a serene property.”

Expressions of interest for Raith close on July 21.

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Why this $2.3m Melbourne apartment includes Porsche

This $2.359m Melbourne apartment comes with a Porsche as part of the sale, and panoramic views over Albert Park Lake

Melbourne’s latest listing throws in leather, horsepower and lake views, and that’s just the car.

A full-floor residence perched above Albert Park Lake has hit the market with one of the city’s most daring incentives: a Porsche Boxster 718 included as part of the sale for any buyer who pays the full $2.359m asking price.

The four-bedroom apartment at 801/K1 Union St delivers panoramic views across the Grand Prix circuit, Port Phillip Bay and the CBD skyline, and now comes with a six-figure lifestyle bonus in the basement.

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Gary Peer & Associates St Kilda director Jeremy Rosens said the decision to include the Porsche was about making a statement.

“Honestly, I’m surprised more people don’t offer a Porsche,” Mr Rosens said.

“There’s an incredible synergy between the apartment and the car, they both exude style, performance and prestige.”

Mr Rosens said the vehicle will be gifted to the buyer as part of the sale, with a sleek, universally appealing model and colour chosen for maximum impact and immediate availability.

“It’s a lifestyle statement as much as a marketing hook,” he said.

“We wanted something that would stop the scroll, start a conversation and ultimately deliver real value to the buyer.”

The full-floor residence features four bedrooms, a stone kitchen, timber floors and designer touches throughout.

Buyers who pay full price get the keys to this Porsche 718 Boxster, included in the sale as a luxury gift.

It’s the first time the Gary Peer & Associates St Kilda director has included a car in a campaign, but he said the move reflects a growing need for creativity in Melbourne’s prestige market.

“Buyers are bombarded with options, so your listing has to stand out,” Mr Rosens said.

“A Porsche tends to do that.”

The apartment itself spans the entire eighth floor of an architecturally designed building and includes private lift access, a gas fireplace, stone kitchen, timber floors, automated blinds and a designer ensuite with brushed rose gold tapware.

Floor-to-ceiling windows open to a sprawling terrace, blending indoor luxury with unbeatable Melbourne skyline views.

The apartment overlooks Albert Park Lake, the Grand Prix circuit, Port Phillip Bay and the CBD, a rare vantage point in inner Melbourne.

Mr Rosens said floor-to-ceiling glazing opens to a vast undercover terrace, while the secure complex features video intercom entry, keypad access and basement parking for two cars, one of which now comes with a very stylish occupant.

“It’s ideal for downsizers, professionals, returning expats or even young families who want to be close to the city, great schools and the beach,” he said.

“You’re walking distance to Albert Park Lake, Fawkner Park, Chapel St, and minutes from St Kilda Beach, it’s one of Melbourne’s most liveable locations.”

Sunset views from the eighth-floor apartment stretch across Melbourne’s iconic Albert Park and out to the bay.

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david.bonaddio@news.com.au

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Govt pays 3 times median house price for unliveable derelict home

The government beat 63 other buyers to land this property.

The government has beaten 63 other buyers to buy an ‘uninhabitable’ derelict home for more than three times the median house price.

The huge $3.3m price paid was a massive $2.11m gain for the sellers who did no work on the site itself after buying it during the pandemic in June 2021 for $1.19m.

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The Wynnum Road property in Cannon Hill has been derelict for years after fire damage.

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The government offered $3.3m in an expressions of interest campaign for the property which is 330 per cent that of the median house price listed in the latest PropTrack Home Price Index for Brisbane of $998,000.

The site is just 6km east of the Brisbane CBD and 3.1km to the Gateway Motorway.

Tom Barr of RWC Queensland and Matthew Fritzsche of Ray White Special Projects Qld., who led the sales campaign, said the price represented a site rate of $1,759 per square metre for the site which is on busy Wynnum Road in Cannon Hill.

Among those vying for the 1,876sq m property was The State of Queensland, builder-developers, private investors, and social and affordable housing providers.

“We are seeing a significant shift in buyer dynamics,” Mr Fritzsche said. “Alongside builder-developers, the State of Queensland has emerged as one of the most competitive and strategic purchasers in this asset class.”

The Queensland government has become a fierce bidder on the open market for properties that can be added to its development roster to meet housing needs.

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A Melbourne-based developer-owner-operator of childcare centres, Explorers Early Learning, had bought the site planning to expand into Queensland, filing for development approval for material change of use on site with the Brisbane City Council.

The development application was still in progress according to BCC documents.

Mr Fritzsche said “Explorers Early Learning saw the opportunity to reposition their investment strategy, which enabled the State to secure a well-located urban site suitable for future affordable housing delivery”.

A statement said the sale was part of a broader trend of increased government intervention in the housing market, particularly in metropolitan areas where there is high rental stress and limited new housing supply.

The childcare developer was seeking approval to build a new centre on the site which is on busy Wynnum Road in Cannon Hill. (Source: BCC)

‘The State of Queensland has been actively acquiring residential development sites to address the pressing housing crisis. This includes land suitable for new apartment projects, as well as existing apartment buildings, aged care facilities, and hotels that can be repurposed for social and affordable housing.”

The 1,876sq m site is over two titles and zoned Medium Density Residential (MDR) with 5 storey building height and over 37 metres of main road frontage.

It is just 350 metres from Cannon Hill Train Station and close to schools, early learning, hotels, and the Coles and Kmart anchored Cannon Hill Plaza Shopping centre.

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Nudity, grow houses: Agents reveal their selling horror stories

Queensland real estate agents have shared some of the craziest things they have encountered while selling property, and let’s just say they well and truly earned their commission.

In one case, an agent found wardrobes with “glowing lights”, while another had to make excuses for a topless sunbathing vendor at an open home.

On behalf of News Corp, the Real Estate Institute of Queensland (REIQ) hit up their thousands of members to find out just what goes on before, during and after the doors open on a listed property.

Here we look at the most recent ones, and revisit a few from the past.

There’s Something About Mary Vibes

One of my most memorable was when I was down the Gold Coast many years ago.

We went to do an open home at this really lovely high end property in the area, rocked up and buyers were starting to arrive.

I was still pretty young at this stage and new to real estate.

I opened up the house and the owner said she would just be out at the pool during the open home and that was fine.

What she didn’t tell me was that she had planned to sunbake topless during the open home.

She was a more mature lady and gave ‘There’s Something About Mary’ movie vibes.

31/08/1998 PIRATE: Actor Cameron Diaz in scene from film

Actor Cameron Diaz in scene from film “There’s Something About Mary”.

Being not long in the industry I had no idea what to say so I just said to buyer, “please excuse the owner she is just laying by the pool” and pretended it was normal.

Reluctant to Move

My older couple had a contract on their house.

Less than a week before settlement my agent went to see them to make sure things were on track for their move and they told her they were going to start looking after they had money in the bank from settlement and would let her know when they were going to move out.

She then spent the rest of the day organising removalists, someone to pack for them, called their family to help and got them a rental.

Above and Beyond

On settlement days we have packed trucks, mowed lawns, cleaned houses, moved livestock, found homes for chickens, rehomed goldfish, replaced plants that have been taken from gardens, gone on hunts for media system remotes because buyers are refusing to settle without them cause they can’t prove its working and the seller accidently packed it and its in the truck somewhere.

Woodville-West Torrens footballer Jarrad Redden doing his rounds (lawn mowing), which has helped him drop 15kg. Job is a MUST.

Illegal Amenities

Finding wardrobes with glowing lights that when you open you find a ‘tomato garden’ where the plants don’t seem to have any fruit on them at all.

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Not a tomato plant . Picture: NSW Police

Jailhouse Block

About 10 years ago we were selling a property for a gentleman who ended up in jail during the process.

It was before all the electronic signing stuff came in so one of my agents had to go to the jail during visiting hours to get him to sign the contract.

Snake Gone Rogue

Ray White New Farm agent Brandon Wortley recalled conducting an open house in one of Brisbane’s blue chip suburbs when a snake went rogue, flying out of a bush and hitting the vendor in the chest.

“I was walking out to meet the owner on the river walk when I caught sight of the tail of a snake slithering in to a bush,” he said.

“It appeared to be making a beeline for the courtyard next door where there were two dogs.

“My plan was to jump the fence, grab the dogs, do something. I was just operating in the moment.

“But the snake had made its way up inside the hedge and then bam, as the vendor was walking past it, it literally flew out of the hedge and whacked her in the chest.

“She just bolted up the boardwalk. I have never seen anyone turn so white.”

Police Raid

Henry Hodge of Hodge Real Estate recalled conducting an open house at a “dingy apartment in Fortitude Valley” when police suddenly raided the building.

“There was lots of noise but we just minded our own business,” he said. “I was mortified.”

Not a selling point. Photo: QPS.

1% Club

Place agent Ben Cannon recalled selling a house for a man who denied being a bikie.

But the cache of firearms hidden around the property — and in the roof — suggested otherwise.

“He told me at the 11th hour that he wanted to cancel the open house because he had guns,” Mr Cannon said.

“I told him to stick them in the roof but he said he couldn’t because it would cave in, it was so full of guns.

“I said, surely you can’t have that many guns so I went around and sure enough, he showed me cupboards full of guns.”

Yeh, nah

Feeling overwhelmed after seeing the arsenal of firearms, Mr Cannon said he wanted to find a way to “fix it”.

He said the owner pulled a handgun out from a bedside table and walked downstairs with it.

“He was saying, why isn’t my house selling but it was so full of guns and he was always there,” Mr Cannon said.

“When I did present an offer, he pulled a handgun out and put it between us during the negotiations,” Mr Cannon said. “I was glad to see that one gone.”

Squatters Paradise

Ray White Bulimba principal Scott Darwon has dealt with everything from a cantankerous cat that refused to budge from under a house to a homeless man who invited himself into a New Farm property he was showing potential buyers.

“He (the homeless man) just came in and started ripping up the lino and stealing the newspapers,” he said. “It was all a bit weird.”

Buff Audience

“I went to do an open in a brand new home and two gentlemen were tanning naked,” one anonymous agent said.

“One was scooping the leaves up into his pool net, butt naked, and the other splashing around the shallows.

“They were very angry when I showed up as I was 10 minutes early.

“I said we had an open and I had to open everything. They jumped into a car with just towels draped around them and fortunately left with a very amused buyer with three kids watching them get hastily into the car.”

Minus the clothes

Unwanted Tenant

Meanwhile, another agent recalled opening a house for inspection only to find it was not vacant.

“I did not see a massive green python draped over the top of the shower screen in the main bathroom, which I would have walked right past to get to the light switch,” the agent said.

“A buyer found it when he was checking the shower. The buyer bravely locked the snake in the room, and I had to tell all the buyers at the inspection to not open the door that was shut downstairs as there was a snake that had snuck into the property.

“One lady just freaked out and left. I called a snake catcher and he came to the property later that day to rescue and release the snake.

“Funnily enough the buyer that found the snake put an offer on the property.”

Green Tree Python where it belongs

When Paranoia Strikes

In another case, a paranoid agent who thought he was being secretly filmed by the vendor reportedly copped a dose right in the eye.

Dobbed in by a fellow agent, the tale goes that Mr Paranoid “noticed a small mobile air freshener unit on the mantelpiece in the lounge that was emitting a small flashing light every minute or so”.

“Convinced that he was being secretly observed and recorded, he sidled up to the unit to take a look straight down the barrel of the ‘camera’ that he believed his untrusting sellers had hidden in this sneakily arranged security contraption, only to have a metered dose squirted squarely and fairly directly into middle of his right cornea. There was no camera,” the source said.

Can’t Be Unseen

While another agent owned up to their own faux pas after accidentally escorting several groups into the wrong apartment in South Brisbane.

“I didn’t realise I had walked straight into the unit next door to a naked couple in a very passionate embrace on their couch. That’s was a tough day,” the agent said.

The post Nudity, grow houses: Agents reveal their selling horror stories appeared first on realestate.com.au.

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